About a year after Austin came out to me, I realized I was no longer crying every day. I still cried a lot, it just wasn’t every single day. I wrestled with not only my self esteem and fears, but also what this meant to my faith. As mentioned in a previous post, I realized I had to look through a different lens. We attended a small Mennonite church in our city. I knew of a handful of queer people that had come and gone over the years. When the elders announced that they were going to start a formal process for the members to discuss whether or not we would be a welcoming church for all people, I was thrilled.

The church should be the safest place for Queer people.

Here is the thing – even when I wasn’t sure what I believed any more, when I had only questions and no answers, there was one belief I was certain of. The church should be the safest place for Queer people. Or, depending on your faith background, the Synagogue, the Temple or the Mosque.

Engaging in Conversations

Many churches either do not talk about this, or the leadership decides whether or not to be welcoming. I have a lot of respect for our pastor and elders at the time. They were willing to engage all of us in conversations on the matter of welcoming.

The formal process that First Mennonite Church of Canton used was quite extensive and lasted for a year. Four different pastors from other congregations were brought in throughout the year, to share their views on the topic. All four pastors studied the same ancient Scriptures, but came out at four different places in regards to faith and accepting members of the LGBTQ+ community. It was fascinating, to say the least. I found my mind expanding and was grateful that the black and white lens of my childhood was not the only lens there was.

Only after learning about the various views did the congregation begin its formal discussion on the matter. One particularly unique part of this process was when all the adult members gathered together to share how the story of their life had been affected by the LGBTQ+ community and how this impacted their views. For most of us, it was a highly emotional evening. Some had siblings or children who were queer. Some had people they loved who had left the church and their faith all together because they were not welcomed. Austin was honest about his own story and came out of the closet to this small group of our faith community. I shared how his coming out had impacted me. It was a night of truth telling and utter vulnerability.

The congregation continued to meet to discuss where to go from here. To welcome or not to welcome. In the end, we decided to agree to disagree as we were more divided than we thought.

It broke my heart. Even though I still wasn’t sure how I felt about the entire issue, I held firmly to my belief. The church should be the safest place for Queer people.

When the Church rejects you

When the Church rejects you, it sure as heck feels like God has rejected you. Too many people have walked away from God when the Church closed its doors to them. This is a big problem and it is not reflective of God, but of us.

If our beliefs are driving people away from the Creator who loves them, then it is time to rethink our beliefs.

This is not the God I know. When Jesus was on earth, the only group of people he ever got angry with, ever had words of judgement for, were the religious elite. He sat outside with those who could not darken the Temple’s door, despite the fact that the religious laws, supposedly handed down by God, forbade him to do so.

Think about it for a minute.

Jesus broke religious laws to show God’s love to the those who were forbidden a place at the table. He was furious only with those who kept all the religious laws but had forgotten how to love.

Why do we think it should be any different today? For too long, we have held judgement up as the greatest commandment when the only commandment there really is, is to love. And love never, ever drives anyone away from God. If our beliefs drive people away from the Creator who loves them, it is time to rethink our beliefs. Perhaps there is another way to interpret things.

The church should be the safest place for Queer people. It should be a safe place to be honest, to wrestle with questions. It must become a place that is welcoming and affirming for all if we truly want to model what love looks like.

Every Sunday morning, thousands gather together across our nation to worship. Pews are filled with people who do not agree on many other things. We may be on opposite sides politically. Many cheer for opposite sports teams. We have strong opposing views on many things, yet we are able to lay these aside as we worship together. Humans, side by side. Why is this there where so many churches draw the line? Why is another person’s sexual orientation so important to us that we feel justified to shut them out when the One we say we follow never said a word on the matter. He did, however, say this:

The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Jesus in Matthew 25:40

To deny the Queer a place at the table is to deny Christ. Welcoming the Queer at the table is welcoming Christ at the table. To affirm the Queer among us is to affirm Christ at the table.

Click on the button above to send me an email and I will let you know when new posts are up! If you or someone you love is in the closet, or if you are struggling with your own guttural grief and need someone to talk to, email me. I may not have time to answer you but I will read it and hold you in my heart.

Photo courtesy of Adrienne Gerber Photography.